i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i believe in u and ur pee
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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