Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
