my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
