My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
