Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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