im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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