So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
