Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
