I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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