cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
