Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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