it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
