Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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