where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
