Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Alive.
So much puke
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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