Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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