We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
