in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
