im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
