It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
