it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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