So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't think brook has ever known best
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
