Buhtt sex?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
