Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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