just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
