Ambien. No doubt about it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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