You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
