Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
