Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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