Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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