We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
