MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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