i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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