I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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