I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
BRING THE BAGELS
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
