I don't think brook has ever known best
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
