just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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