Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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