there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
