My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
two words: eviction party
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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