This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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