If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
