whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
