He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
