normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you mean i was at the winter classic?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
