Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
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