we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize