If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
