Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
