Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
