Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize