Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
