remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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