My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
