So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
