I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
