Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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