I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
