why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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