i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
