My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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