I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
