Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
