Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize