She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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