I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
