try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
