i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
